In the black
As I lie in the night you die again - over and over.
Shot. Drowned. Hung.
Whatever rips my heart to bits exposes my soul - my REAL soul - the one with all the black stuff.
The soul my waking hours spend their minutes warding off.
Tilt neck back – ice craAaack.
Howl to the sky ‘til my insides dry.
DEAD IS DAD. My dad. My dead.
The people smile and brush my words like an itch on the arm.
I want to shake this goddamn world until it shatters - CRAAAAACKKK.
I shout into the void and my heart dissolves, filling each tiny cell with grief.
I wake in a puddle.
Roll over. Open eyes. Breathe.